im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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