see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
