im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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