Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Two words: blizzard sex
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
