If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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