Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
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I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
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When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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