Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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