Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
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We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
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You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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