Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We don't watch enough power rangers
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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