Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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