so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
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