Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
