Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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