is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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