Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
