Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
