he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
