I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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