just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize