Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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