exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
