Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I have feelings that need drinking.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
