we're blogging at a bar
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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