I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
