i think my mom watched the whole time
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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