1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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