he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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