just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
