I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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