I understand Curling. That high.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
