this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'd cum for enchiladas.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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