i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
