the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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