So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
