I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
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