I forgot how hot balto sounded
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
