He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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