just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
