so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
There's always time for handjobs
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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