Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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