craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
