Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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