walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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