just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
