Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
