The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
