Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
