Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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