When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
