Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize