why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
