she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
