I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
