jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
