Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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