you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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