I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
