My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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