he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
