I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize