just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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